Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Best Sort of News.

Even though St. Mary's College gave me an $8,000.00 scholarship, that still leaves quite a financial burden for me to pay. Part of me-- a large part-- is more than willing to pay this. Yet, there's another part of me that requires I look into every avenue before shrugging my shoulders and saying: "Oh well, I guess I'll just take out student loans."

In this spirit, I organized a job search of sorts, in which I apply to all the "dream jobs I might not quite be qualified for" first, and the "Safeway checker"-type jobs later. The first two on my list were a full time instructor for a French-immersion school in Lafayette which wanted native speakers to teach students (ages 2-12) the ins and outs of French. The second? An assistant coach position at St. Mary's itself.

I say I'm unqualified for each because I really lack the essential for both jobs. I'm not a native speaker of French (but rather, a "near-native" speaker with an MA) and for the coaching position, I have no coaching credential to my name, but instead loads of experience running and training as well as a year as a "volunteer coach" with the University of Nevada's cross country team. And so, I sent applications to both these entities, expecting nothing.

But then, not 5 hours later, I heard back from St. Mary's head cross country coach.


I don't usually yell on my blog, but even after 24 hours, I'm still in happy-shock. I can't believe this. How perfect would this be? I could run AND write and be paid, essentially, for both?? Wow.

Steve says I've worked hard the past three years for this and I know in a way, he is right. And yet there is an element of, well, "do I deserve this? Am I good enough?"

I know in the deep recesses of me that, yes, I'm worthy and capable. My body (perhaps sensing this) ran 20 miles today in a pace 11-seconds faster PER MILE than I've been able to run the distance, without pain. I'm improving-- I have to keep the vision in my mind in which I see myself running with young athletes and writing furiously by night. It's what I've always wanted-- and what I've been striving for in both my academics and athletics.

Yes, it's my time. Time to run, time to write and time to -- finally -- live the life I've always wanted and deserved.

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