Hello treadmill, my old friend. I've got to run on you again.

Tis the season of post-marathon blues. I should have known it would hit a bit harder this year, given the momentum I had driving me through this last race, only to have final papers to turn in and a trip back home to begin my holiday season.

I'm in Tahoe-- a layover of days before I descend into Smith Valley-- watching as the world turns a dismal gray with snow. 

Snow. 

Snow hiding the evergreen tree line. Snow covering every conceivable place to run. Cold, frigid snow.

I'm brought back to last year about this time when I re-started my running career on a treadmill in the local gym. The memory came back because I stepped on that very treadmill today with considerably more mileage on my legs and many more memories. I have so much to be thankful for... mostly not having to run on a treadmill for the entire winter season ahead of me! 

It's hard for me not to get depressed this time of year. And even harder now that I'm returning "home"-- the places I struggled to run in once. Being in the bay has spoiled me. Never once in this training cycle did I feel sub-freezing air on my skin. Flurries in my eyes and hair. Puddles, maybe, but it's OK to get wet once in a while. :)

It hasn't been all dismal-doom, however. We put up a tree, hung our decorations. Jacques, the cat, took part, donning a Santa hat (OK, I helped with that a little :) ) but not minding so much. 

And though things are going well-- no post-race injury to speak of-- I can't help but worry about the years and miles to come. Despite the holidays, which mean time to spend with my family (which I haven't seen since August before I left for Saint Mary's College), this slight glumness on my part has me worried: what happens when this running life is over? Maybe by then I will be more mature and ready to handle life on its own without this crutch of constant motion.

I suppose it's premature to think of that now-- to worry about possibilities that are not yet realities. I am so grateful for what I have achieved and for what lies immediately ahead: a visit to my family, a race in February and all the miles to get me there.