Friday, December 10, 2010

Part II: Clarification

What a week! I revised and turned in two final papers and have been recovering rather quickly from the race. I'm not so sore anymore (though the day after Steve kept asking me if walking was really OK); but I notice the punch in my legs is gone for now and so it will remain, I imagine, through the holidays. 

Many wonderful colleagues and friends read my blog last weekend, watching my progress. When I returned to Moraga-- to campus-- they asked me, almost unanimously-- so: did you make it? I didn't realize I was unclear in what I had written, but given how I was (and am) feeling about my results, I suppose I was-- and am--unclear. So, I decided to clarify a few points, before moving forward. 

1. I did not qualify for the 2012 Olympic Trials. I have to run a 2:46 (or faster) to meet the B Standard Qualifying time. At CIM a week ago, I ran a 2:47. So close, I know, but close doesn't count in this sport of time.

2. I have a year ahead of me to qualify. In all likelihood, this will involve running a marathon in late spring/early summer. The marathon for the Olympic Trials will be in January, 2012 in Houston. 

3. I'm ecstatic I ran a 2:47. Or, outrageously happy. I can't believe I did it. A recent running-facebook-friend of mine voiced astonishment that I'd only run four races in 2010 leading up to this one.... I suppose a "real" elite athlete would have run more; or, would have known their fitness level leading into a race of this importance. I didn't know. I had no idea. I had the belief that I could (sort of) pull of a 2:46 but it was tinged with doubt. The fact that I came so close (and felt so good doing it) is simply astonishing to me. I'm so excited for this next training cycle because I have learned so much. Next time around, I will shatter 2:46.

4. Yes, I'm elite now. The word means so many things to different people, but I'm of the school that if you run a 2:47 marathon in three years of training, that's elite. Granted, Goucher's 2:20 something NYC marathon is elite, too. Super-elite. Uber-elite. Yet, I call myself elite as a mark of pride for my accomplishment. I worked hard. I'm almost there. Elite, je suis. Vraiment

5. Thank you, all of you, who have followed this. I can't fathom what is compelling about my life or what I've done; I've tried to be the best I can possibly be. For the most part, I've come up short of what I've hoped for. And yet, and yet: I will not give up. I will not stop. I wish there was some way I could convey how much your interest, your encouragement and your love means to me.   If it was not for you, I would not have accomplished what I have. I carry you with me: each and every mile. You compel me to be better; and so I shall. For me, yes. But for you. For you. 

And so, on a final note, two links.  The first, my stats from CIM:

The second, a link to my first published article about running: my first attempt at a marathon back in 2007. Funny, I only wanted to finish and look how far I've come:

Thank you-- all of you-- for your support. And now,  as Frost would have said, I have miles to go before I sleep.

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