Pre-race jitters for the first race of 2010.

Yup-- I'm nervous. Very much so. I haven't raced in-- well, almost a year. I don't know what to expect out of myself. Of course, I'm running this in lieu of another tempo workout (that I always have to run alone.) And even though I know I'm not supposed to have reat expectations for myself (this is a workout, after all) I'm not driving down to Davis and waking up early to run 10 kilometers for nothing.

I'm not going there to fail.

Or am I?

But what does it mean to "win?" I suppose I could tell myself to maintain a good, steady pace. But the problem with doing that is that, though my fitness has improved in the last six weeks, I have no clue what I ought to be able to do and what's unrealistic for me. Obviously, wanting to do a 5-minute per mile pace is not going to happen, but what about a 6:30? I don't know and with that uncertainty comes these stomach-butterflies.

Of course, I'll post my results as soon as I'm back in the mountains and at home.

However, I do know, regardless of the outcome, this race will change the way I train. All races tend to do that-- they motivate either by giving one positive feedback, or by showing it's time "step it up" so to speak. In the very least, I'll know what I can do, right now.

I have to accept the simple beauty in that knowledge and continue to train with the faith that this is a place to start, a moment from which to progress.

With that thought, I'll say not-so-timidly: "Bring it on." And I'll bring what I can, whatever that may be.